16 March 2016

Social Media & Why No One Is Going to Read This

This is not the post that was supposed to go up this week. I had written something entirely different, scheduled to go up on Tuesday but then delayed it because a story I thought was over suddenly picked up again. I knew the first blog would have to be edited to allow for continuation later.

In summary: I met someone. We found each other on social media (through a slightly embarrassing plot twist) and he asked me out for drinks. But then I got the brush off.

Bummer. Disappointment abounds. Etc. Etc. I already made plans to meet a girlfriend for drinks instead. Life goes on.

But not for my mother.

My mother, who is a kind, loving creature, sometimes displays Mrs. Bennett levels of irrationality when it comes to my love life [because she cares, honestly. It stems from a place of caring.]. She called me this morning to inform me that writing about my experiences on the internet is clearly driving men away. And she's "Not the only one" who thinks so. By that, I imagine she means my father and brother, both of whom are extremely old-fashioned and uptight, even at the best of times. My family is of the

"She is too fond of books, and it has addled her brain."

school of thought.

Oh, family. I love you, but you anger me. Allow me to clue you in:

Until this week, none of the men I have dated have been friends with me on facebook. I also do not share photos or names or names of companies of these guys (with the one exception of Omar, whose photo you'll recall I blurred out). I also believe I am incredibly nice when I write about these men. Even Omar, who sent me alarming messages for three days straight, I gave credit for possibly just being confused about how to talk to women.

Also, let's be real here: I respect people's privacy. As I said, this is the first scenario in which someone befriended me on facebook and asked me out at the same time. It happened quickly, but I fully intended not to share any posts referring to him (if I decided to post them at all) on facebook. I also seriously considered that I might delay writing anything about him at all, until there was a finale to the story, which, let's face it, there almost always is.

In fact I have long-considered no longer sharing these posts on facebook. But let me bring you in on a secret. This blog is not popular. About 75-100 people at best read it. Most of those people are close friends. Friends on facebook. Making facebook the easiest way to share with those friends.

But yes, I knew that sharing it publicly was always something that might have to be subject to change. The issue now is that I want to keep sharing posts on facebook to spite my mother. Her harbinger of doom attitude that no man will ever want me once he finds out I write a dating blog is so offensive to me that it makes me want to lash out. As I just tearfully explained to a friend, I felt like I was being told to

"Sit still, look pretty, and keep your mouth shut so you can bag a boyfriend."

But it's immature to not do something I was planning to do anyway just to spite my mother. (By the way it sucks being 26 and having your mother still be able to get under your skin this way.) So last week's blog will officially be the last one that gets shared to my facebook friends. I am hoping that those of you who read it will seek it out anyway. It makes me happy to share a laugh with you over what I hope are funny and relatable experiences.

The truth though, is I imagine that tiny number of people who read these posts will plummet down to next-to-nothing. But oh well. I restarted this blog because it was about getting myself in the habit of writing regularly, and I chose the subject I did because it was one I was interested in. Neither of those things will change just because people stop reading.


  1. For the record, I am here and not dependent on facebook to see your new posts. So that's one at least! I'm so sorry your mom said that, coming from a place of caring as she was. Sometimes the people who care about us the most can say the most [unintentionally] hurtful things. But I completely agree that you have been very considerate of people's privacy, etc. and I see no reason why you should stop.

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. When you're writing, it's always nice to know you have an audience, no matter the size.

    2. I completely understand that :)