Critical Thinking

Good morning, Readers. Well, it's morning as I'm writing this. It will be afternoon once you're reading it. But right now there's coffee and it's a pretty sunny day out and I don't have to be at work until the afternoon. Mornings (the relaxed kind when you get to wake up naturally, that is) are honestly becoming my favorite time of day the older I get. Everything is peaceful outside because most people are at work, and the weather has finally turned comfortable enough that I can sit outside and sip my coffee and enjoy the view.

So with that zen state of mind, I have another batch of questions to respond to:

OK Rachel, good job with my first round of questions. Since you asked, here is a second round with maybe even tougher questions.

You mentioned dating someone of the correct age. Is that physical age? Appearance age? or emotional maturity level? What difference does age make if you make someone very happy and they make you very happy? Scenario question: You are in a committed relationship with a very loving and caring man of very average looks. In to the room walks very tall, dark, and makes you weak in the knees handsome. And he's giving you some attention. What do you do? Will you go out with a physically attractive man you have compatibility/committment issues with in the hopes you can help him change?(I can tell you I have personally seen this one blow up a number of times.) This last question may be pushing it a bit, but what if have met/are dating someone who is right for you in nearly every way EXCEPT no matter how hard you or he try he's not a very good...well..."lover"? CD

Damn CD. Back at it again with the white vans. …I'm sorry that was a somewhat obscure reference. Ignore me. Anyway. Here we go.

Meek vs. Dauntless: The Epic Rap Battle

Recently someone commented the following:

before you answer anymore questions a quick update PLEEZE. i can't believe no one nice has asked you out on a date in over a month!

Well, my dear, believe it. I hate to say this, because it is exactly as pathetic and lonely as it sounds, but lately if I'm not working, I'm sitting home alone watching Supergirl in my pajamas. But, it so happens that I actually intended to update you all on a recent event regardless.

On a rare night out and an even rarer opportunity to put on the ritz, I attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago. My very dear childhood friend Jenna recently married her honest-to-goodness True Love, Matt. And I want to take a moment to say that it's couples exactly like Jenna & Matt who give me hope that maybe one day I'll be as blessed as they were to find each other. Their wedding was elegant, classic, and beautiful, and yeah, I happy-cried about four times. If you're ever looking for me at a wedding, I'm the gal weeping while handing out tissues to all the other weeping women around me. (Where's my big brother when I need him? He carries a handkerchief for exactly such occasions.)

And what better way to meet single men than at a wedding reception, right? Meh. Not in my experience. Actually, at nearly all of the weddings I've attended, I've found myself to be one of the only dateless guests there. That said, there were a few familiar faces at this reception whom I had met at other parties Matt & Jenna hosted, and for once, I was not the only person without a Plus One.

Itemization

A question from a good friend:

What if I don't know what I want in a romantic partner? I've been in a single serious relationship and a few flings, but none of them left me with any real preferences beyond "not an idiot, PLEASE". I mean, I'm a pretty laid back individual, but surely there's some way to figure out what I'm looking for without destroying lives and/or becoming a serial dater (like K, I'm not hugely into the dating game, and going out on multiple dates with different people in a short time period sounds like torture). WHAT DO I WANT? And how do I find it?

Just because I know who posted this comment, I happen to know that this piece of advice will be met with unbridled enthusiasm rather than an eyeroll: Have you considered making a list?

An Important Distinction

ETA: There have been issues with Blogger's comment section. I have no idea why. If I have not answered your comment by now it's almost definitely because it never published. I'm sorry for this discouraging hassle but please, especially if you are commenting from a mobile device, refresh the page after you post a comment to doublecheck that it actually published. (Copy the text of your comment before you do so, just in case.)

Afternoon, kiddos! I'm back again with the last question in my queue (hint hint if you have anything you're burning to know). I hope that this will be the last time for a good while that I rant about my beef with people who fetishize my job, but I couldn't ignore this comment.

Rachel, absolutely love your blog! What has happened to our profession? Not to upset you further, and risk glitter bombing my place, but commercials like this one for mens razors really bother me, and seem to perpetuate the stereo types. It is on tv constantly. With ads like this it is no wonder we get harassed at work..and home. 

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/Aprf/dollar-shave-club-mile-high

When I get up some courage, I'll share stories of my personal life. My dating history will sound awfully familiar to you. You are not alone.

First of all: Aw, thank you!

Second of all: Ew. Like, really ew. Seriously, do people not realize how disgusting airplane bathrooms are? Never mind how small? Unless you're on a government-subsidized airline in which First Class passengers basically have their own personal suites, even the nicest bathroom on the plane is about 1/8 of that size. And no matter which airline you're on, government subsidized or otherwise, I really don't want to tell you how unsanitary it is in there. Clean enough to use for the purpose it was intended for, followed by a good wash of the hands? Absolutely. Clean enough to use for sexual rendezvous? Um, no. So much ew.

Fun Dates are Fun Because They're Fun

Back again with another question this week, from one of you. If you haven't asked something but have a question burning on your mind, please take advantage of the anonymous comment option below and leave it for me! I'm really enjoying hearing what's on everyone's mind.

Today's question comes from K:

Rachel, how do I make dating fun? Do I Clockwork Orange myself with romcoms until I am convinced something like that can happen to me? Or more specifically, how can dating be more attractive to someone who is not socially inclined other than "if you don't do it, you'll be alone forever"? 

Also, how to politely tell my parents that I do not need them setting me up with their friends' children?? Last time I checked arson was a felony??
K

Interview With a Single Woman

I'm delighted to say that I got enough response to my last call for help to allow me to write and schedule my next several posts to be published on Wednesdays at noon for the next couple of weeks. All I can say is to those of you who replied, whether you left an actual question for me or not, thank you. And if you didn't write in with a question yet, please consider leaving one this time!

So, in no particular order, I'll be replying to you all over my next few posts.

OK Rachel, since you asked. What is most important quality in a man you just met: good looks, good paycheck, good sense of humour, secure future, honesty, or other? Be honest!! Will you date someone that was introduced through family of friends? Have you dated co-workers? Will you not date someone you have just met because you can't imagine yourself married to them, or do you let things play out and enjoy the moment? What type of man would you like to date: Businessman, teacher, pro athlete, farmer, military, musician, artist, scientist, doctor, or other? Finally, do you think you are too particular in selecting who you date, and that is why you are not meeting the right guy, or do you think you are not particular enough, and that is why you have had so many bad experiences? 

CD

Dear Men Who Hit on Me on the Plane:

Dear Men Who Hit on Me on the Plane,

You're only interested in me because I represent an unlimited supply of Jack & Cokes.

Sincerely,
Your Flight Attendant


No really, what is it about Jack Daniels that seems to be some sort of flight-crew-specific aphrodisiac? I should conduct a study.

But that's it folks, that's this week (and last week's) post. I'm having what we in the business of dating like to call "a dry spell," and I'm not talking about sexually. I mean my life has been devoid of even the smallest of romantic interactions, welcome or otherwise, unless you include a drunk man in a cowboy hat trying to get my number off of me on a flight to Miami this past weekend. (That's pretty much all there is to the story.)

So, in light of the situation, I have decided to open up a Q&A. To my friends who read this blog every time I post, the ones who e-mail me to tell me how much you've enjoyed it, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO HELP ME. Please, ask a question below about ANYTHING. Blogger will allow you to leave a comment anonymously. I would prefer you use this resource, rather than e-mail or messaging me separately, simply so I can keep everything together. However, if you would rather use one of those methods, that's fine.

I will answer anything within reason (i.e. if you ask whether I'm a member of the Mile High Club, I will send a glitter bomb to your house), whether it's about my personal dating history, about my opinion on dating etiquette, or about anyone who's ever been mentioned in the blog. Alternatively, if you want to share a story about your dating experiences, I would love to hear about it and talk about it in a post.

This will only work if I actually get a response, so if you're reading this, I'm talking to YOU.

ETA: It seems I should apologize. Anonymous comments were disabled on the blog without my realizing it. I have adjusted the settings so that you should be able to leave them now. If I am wrong, I apologize. Alternatively, if you prefer to contact me through e-mail or message on facebook/tumblr, you know that I never use real names on this blog and I will not share anyone's identity in a blog post.