Mr. Mature & My Relapse Into "Ghosting"

So my New Year's Resolution to never ghost anyone again lasted...two months? Almost?

That's embarrassing.

But let me start at the beginning: Valentine's Day. I had some pretty epic romantic plans this year with my one true love, Cheese. (Shhhh. Don't tell Coffee. They can't know about each other.) I was on 24-hour call for my job, so even if I had wanted to go out, had a date, or indeed, someone to celebrate Love & Chocolate Day with, I wouldn't have been able to. But I had plans, let me tell you. They involved a Captain America movie marathon, Julia Child's recipe for cheese souffle, and (if work would have released me early) a bottle of chardonnay. I was stoked.

The Continuing Saga of Omar & What It's Like Dating Today

This week's post—or I should say last week's post—is coming to you a little late. The reason? Well, I was just so overwhelmed with endless ideas for what to write about that I couldn't decide.

Lie. That was a lie. Just in case you couldn't tell.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I had a few things come to mind: Valentine's Day and Why People Who Complain About Commercialism are Annoying, The Continuing Saga of Omar, Why I Deleted Clover, etc. But the real truth is I was busy, and as much as I would like to say I have a few stories saved to post on weeks when I don't have time to write…I'm not that organized.

For those of you interested in the Continuing Saga of Omar, enjoy:

Clover, Stating My Intentions, and Omar

So this week my dating app addiction led me down a new path: Clover.

If you aren't familiar with my addiction, here's the need-to-know summary: I download dating apps out of boredom because I like window-shopping through an endless supply of men. Only once in a blue moon do any of these apps induce me to go on an actual date.

What did I think of Clover? Well, it confirmed my belief that this world can only be cleansed by fire.

Clover markets itself as Tinder meets OKCupid. I've never used the latter, so I can't compare on that front. But the Tinder-concept makes sense: it's your basic swipe-right-swipe-left format for shuffling through potential matches. Window shopping galore. The major difference is that this app also has a section that allows you to see your matches, people you've liked, AND (here's the selling point) people who've liked you—whether or not you've even checked them out to see if it's mutual.

A Lesson in Assumptions

I'm going to share something that I wrote with you, but first I'm going to put it in context. It was a short story that was barely half a page long from the perspective of Person A, who has been in love with Person B for a very long time, and all the little ways she has surprised him over the years. Someone recently quoted my own work to me (every writer's dream!) and said how much they loved this line:

"It was a lesson in assumptions: the important things about a person can't be found in a database."

Mr. Comfortable and the Uncomfortable Second Date

When you last left your hero (that's me!) she was contemplating the offer of a second date with Mr. Comfortable, fellow-user of the dating app Bumble.

And when I say I was offered a second date, I should say he had sent me one or two texts the next couple of days, having officially asked for my phone number so we could take our conversation over to real, actual texts. The actual difference? Only the intimate detail of my actual phone number, giving him the power to, well, call me if he so desired. I am forever grateful to my iPhone for taking the pressure off of giving a man my real phone number by allowing me the power to block him if his attention becomes unwanted. I think I can speak for all women (and many men) when I say ABOUT DAMN TIME.

Anyway, that tangent aside, he had sent me one or two texts, and then one evening, when he found out I was getting home from my work trip that night, he asked if I wanted to come over to his place so he could cook me dinner.

Bumbling Along With Mr. Comfortable

Here's the cold hard truth: Since last week, I've already written two full posts for this blog that I then chose not to share. The stories, you won't be surprised to know, are regarding my dating life of the past year and a half (i.e. since the last time I update Me & Mr. Right Now). But here's why this blog is difficult for me. Sometimes I'm not sure what to share. How much is too much personal information? When does a post cross the line from a relatable story into me gratuitously whining about how "Love done me wrong?" And also, the introspective question: At what point am I really ready to share some things? When does it stop being "too soon?"

Perhaps one day, when I feel more removed from those stories, I will share them, but for now, here's a summary:

Keep Looking for It

"I'm sure you hear this all the time, but it will happen when you're not looking for it."

Next person to say this to me gets spit in their eye.

The well-intended person, of course, means to be encouraging. Comforting, even. Failed relationships? Feeling lonely? Just got off a disappointing date? Once thought you'd be engaged by this age? All of these remarks lately, whether made humorously or not, have been met with the same pithy aphorism:

"Quit worrying about it and it will happen."

Yes, dear friend [or perfect stranger, as the case may be], how stupid of me to desire companionship. You're completely right. I should definitely flip the on/off switch for that.

…oh wait.