A Matter of Trust

"Do you trust me?"

I don't know.

I know you've been waiting to hear this with baited breath. Mr. Charming's home from Greece. He had a spectacular time, as he showed me in his vacation photos, most of which displayed him either alone or in the company of male friends. If there were any other variety, I was thankfully shielded from those.

The funny thing is I was kept quite busy while he was gone, between work and out-of-town visitors. So I was amply distracted from treacherous thoughts of what he might be getting up to on his vacation half-way around the world.

But Wednesday was more difficult. I had an airport standby shift at work, and my mind had a little too much freedom to wander as I sat there for several hours with nothing to do. So I texted Mags, double-checking with her on a book-club related question. And about life's more important dilemmas:

<<<<Also, I have been doing sooo well this week about not thinking about Charming and definitely NOT picturing bikini-clad Greek girls seducing him, but I'm on airport standby with nothing to do for 6 hrs but read and now my brain won't shut up about it!!!!! ARGH!

Fortunately, Mags responded with her usual sage advice, grounded in the wisdom of our mothers' mothers.

>>>>Well STOP

Gee, thanks, Mags. You're so helpful.

<<<<I can't help it! I'm not a jealous person, he owes me nothing whatsoever, and yet my overactive imagination is like "NUDE BEACHES! DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE NUDE BEACHES!"

>>>>I don't think there are any of those in Greece so you are ok

<<<<that is so comforting thank you.

Yes, I'm slightly ashamed of this deterioration of my strong-independent-woman-ness, but for the record, I was partly joking. My imagination had certainly gotten a bit carried away once it drifted to Mr. Charming, but I promise I wasn't sitting in a sweat over it. It just wasn't a pleasant train of thought, and I was trying very hard to steer myself away from it.

Ironically, two hours later I got a text from the man in question, inviting me over to grill dinner, if I were in town that is. Turns out he'd gotten home sometime on Monday.

So what this means is I had to sit for 3 more hours wondering whether I were going to have to fly somewhere or if I had a date that night, and exactly how long would it take me to go home and shower and shave my legs so I could wear my short shorts because it's a blistering 90˚+ outside and he said grilling so shorts are appropriate and I consider my legs to be one of my best features so this is an excellent opportunity to show them off oh God I should probably wear sunscreen….

Focus, Self. Focus. We know from past experience you can be out of the shower in 7.5 minutes, and sunscreen is a given. The real question is what top to pair with the short shorts.

Yeah. I was feeling the struggle. But I'm sure you've surmised from the fact that I've seen vacation photos that I got released from work without having to fly.

Dinner was, unsurprisingly, really nice. I don't think I've ever mentioned this within the blog, but cooking for me is definitely one of the quickest ways to my heart. His roommate showed up in the kitchen at one point and asked how we were doing, and as I put it to him, "I didn't have to cook. I didn't have to do dishes. Someone else poured my glass of wine…I'm feeling extremely spoiled right now." And I meant it.

I can also say my slight remaining iciness from the missing month has finally thawed. I'm enjoying his company too much to bother being irritated about it anymore. Anyway, it requires way too much energy to hold a grudge.

There was a point in the evening where he asked a question that shook me up: "Do you trust me?" It was thrown out casually and without emphasis, part of a joke. But I couldn't help a childish image of Aladdin on his magic carpet flashing through my mind, offering his hand out to Princess Jasmine.

"Do you trust me?"
"…yes."

My next thought was of my cell phone, in which Mr. Charming just so happens to be listed as "Not To Be Trusted." Cell phone nicknames are a tactic I employ to put myself in the right frame of mind when talking to certain people. In this case, I'm trying to remind myself that Mr. Charming is a playboy (or at least I suspect he is) and not to take anything he says too seriously. 

But I found myself nodding, a hesitant laugh tumbling from my lips as I said "Sure." Let's face it: Aladdin was lying about his whole identity, but he was offering a magic carpet ride. I mean, come on! Wouldn't you say yes?

In some ways I can feel a slight shift occurring between the two of us, but ultimately I think it's just that we're getting to know each other better. I can't honestly say that much has changed overall. At this point, I suppose I would put us on a similar page to where I left off with him prior to the missing month, except instead of fretting about how to broach the subject of becoming exclusive, I find myself in a state of idle curiosity, wondering where this is going next. I'd say it's unclear to me exactly what Charming is looking for, but that would be a wild understatement.



[gifs not mine; found through google image search]